When I was younger, I wanted to change the world.
I coveted earnestly the power of the Holy Spirit. The ability to face down any situation with the same boldness and unconquerable spirit that Christ and His disciples had. I was drawn to modern day ministers who had such a commanding presence and a captivating vision. I
wanted to see the miraculous performed and learn how to perform it through my hands. There was such ambition to see an unclear future turned into a glorious triumph that would go down in the annals of Christianity. To secure a spot next to all the saints in glory throughout the acts of my devotion and faith. Though these are admirable things to desire, looking back on it, the desire had me front and center instead of Him. As I have grown, day by day, spending time with God, it seems that my ambition has changed, and my perspective forever altered.
It seems that my hearts cry and determination was no longer in the achievement of the ambitious goals that I had set for myself, but rather I desired a much similar, short-term, accomplishment: Obedience.
Pleasing my Heavenly Father seems to be the only thing on my mind. To be seen or known has little to no hold on me now. It’s as if the things I once fought for, seem of little consequence to me. The only thing that I desire is the next word I hear from Him. Many times, I have been asked if you could go back and change one thing in your life what would it be. To be honest I never really new what to say. Until that fateful afternoon spending time with my Heavenly Father, and I finally found my answer. If I could go back, I would fall in love with God sooner. Because once you fall in love with God, all the weight of the world begins to melt away. Your ambition begins to turn into faithful obedience. The people you once overlooked seem to carry so much significance. It’s the unknowns, the hurt, the broken, the down and outs, that seem to capture your gaze more than anything else. It’s no longer coveting a grand stage, but to make the stage He has given you grand. To present His love in places where no reward would follow. To work hard and tirelessly for a cause that is entirely His and not your own. To deny the flesh, not for the accolades of men, but for a greater intimacy with Him. A relationship ever growing, evolving, and developing, starting now and stretching into the ages of eternity.
I wasn’t sure about writing this, I have a hard time sharing intimate thoughts, especially about my God. I like when we have a moment between me and Him, with words spoken to one another that not a single other soul knows about. However, I felt the Lord wanted me to share it, to a person or persons who needed to read this. God desires to have a Real relationship with you. The place I find myself in is a beautiful one, and it wasn’t achieved through “catching up” on prayer by praying for hours, or hunkering down and reading the Bible all the way through in a month. It was cultivated over years of talking with God daily, about anything and everything. By reading the Bible daily, and treating it with honor, by observing it daily and conforming my life to it. By bringing requests to Him but also clearing my schedule just to worship Him, and to be a friend and son to Him. It’s a relationship, its strength is found in its longevity and sincerity. You can’t build a strong friendship in a couple days, or even a couple months, it takes years of faithfulness and care to build a strong relationship. I believe this relationship with our Heavenly Father that I’ve been talking about is What Jesus Died on the cross for, so that we could enjoy, from now, and stretching into all of eternity. This relationship can be found throughout the Word, so over the next couple weeks I’m going to be going through the Word and revealing some of the things God has shown me over the years about this.
Until then, God bless,
Jake
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